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The GoodLetter Thursday, October 17, 2002
GoodThings, Inc. :: Stories, actions, ideas, and greeting cards that connect us.
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Greeting Card of the Week
Favorite GoodThings: Now as Birthday Cards!
We're happy to announce that we've done something new with our Favorite GoodThings cards that have been so popular with so many of you. Eight of the cards (including the one at the right) are now available as birthday cards, featuring a special GoodThings birthday greeting on the inside. Please take a minute to visit our site to see which ones you can now send as birthday greetings!
Consider sending a GoodThings "Happy Birthday" with someone you know. Every card you buy and send helps broaden awareness of progressive actions and ideas around the world. (We print all our cards on recycled paper using soy ink.)
Please visit our online store today by clicking here or on any card
IT'S TIME TO GET YOUR HOLIDAY CARD ORDERS IN! If you think customized GoodThings Greeting Cards like the ones pictured above would be perfect for your non-profit organization or company -- or even your family -- to use for the holidays, send an e-mail to cards@goodthings.com and ask us about our card customization program and volume discounts.
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Click the card to see it enlarged or to order
Front (of above card):
Favorite Things: Waking up to the sounds and smells of the ocean. Walking my dog on the beach. Travelling. Sailing and snorkeling. Knowing someone cares. Fresh vegetables. Being outside. The beauty of a new day. A friend's caring smile. (Mary, North Carolina)
Inside (of above card):
Hope your year is full of good things. Happy Birthday!
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This Week's Feature
Neighbor Unknown
by Ellen Cady
Thirsty for a way to connect to the people in her neighborhood, one writer takes a risk and discovers a vibrant sense of community all around her.
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Fellow GoodLetter readers,
On a recent drive down a city street, I approached a small roadblock with a sign that read, "Neighborhood Block Party: Local Access Only." Sure enough, down the street, I spied several tables lined with red and white checkered tablecloths, steaming Pyrex dishes, and folks engaged in conversation, buzzing around the food like moths to light. I watched two children throw a Frisbee, while three more admired a fluffy golden-hued puppy, gnawing at its leash, a dad holding the other end. Slowly, I turned the wheel to the right, all the while stealing glances back at the group gathered there on the tree-lined street. An unexpected emotion came over me like a torrent. Was I hungry? No. Did I want a new puppy? Nope.
I craved some neighbors.
Putting a name to a face sounds like a simple task, yet many neighbors today are strangers. Despite the proximity of our homes, many of us are unaware of those who live to our left or right. We insulate ourselves and move through our days in fast-paced cocoons, where we may not take the time to look up when a neighbor pulls up in a new car, or notice when the kid next door goes off to college. But, in uncertain times such as these, we can breathe a deep sigh of relief knowing that we are part of a community, that our homes are flanked with friends or neighbors.
As I kept driving, a memory came flooding back of a woman my brother and I devotedly called "Nanny." She and Pop Pop lived next door -- which means, next farm over -- to us in rural Maine, but they were much more. With no children or grandchildren of their own, Nanny and Pop Pop were grandparents to my brother and me. We spent holidays together. We rode with Pop Pop on his red tractor. One evening, my mother climbed the stairs to find me not in my bed; I was missing. The phone rang and it was Nanny, who let her know that I was standing in their kitchen, modeling my new nightgown for them. When my brother was born, Nanny and Pop Pop were my parents' first stop on the way home from the hospital. And, when I was born, my parents honored Nanny by giving me her first name. When they passed away, Nanny and Pop Pop left everything they had to my brother and me. We were family.
Since those early days, I've claimed an address in three different cities (two large, one small), one ski town, and a suburb. Yet, in each of these places, I've not experienced a feeling of community -- a true feeling of neighbors -- like we had in those pastoral parts of Maine. That is, not until now.
One August day, we came home to two folded pieces of paper under our door. "Neighborhood Picnic," the first one read. My eyes lit up. The second one was a map of our neighborhood with everyone's names and phone numbers listed. For our house, it read, "Unknown." I scrambled to the computer, e-mailed the organizer of the picnic with our RSVP and our names and phone number to be added to the list. Lest they think we have nothing better to do than pencil in a community picnic -- neighborhood nerd alert! -- I saved it in my inbox and sent it a day later.
The day of the picnic arrived. Holding hands, like children with their parents on the first day of kindergarten, my husband and I walked over to the group gathered outside a neighbor's home. With fists pumping, we shook hands and introduced ourselves. Standing there on that lawn, we were a mixed bag of Caucasians, African Americans, and Asian Americans. Within an hour, I had a new walking partner, a neighbor who desperately needed my brownie recipe, and several job contacts.
For two and a half years now, my husband and I have lived in our adorable Craftsman bungalow that overlooks a lush, green park, just steps away from a sapphire blue lake. We have a city politician on one side and an architect on the other, whose cats we feed while they are away. Two children live a couple doors down and use our hill to roll like little orbs to the bottom, only to run back to the top saying, "Watch me, watch me!" We pick blackberries in the park, take nightly walks along the lake and, in the summer, have freshly grilled dinner on the porch. We tickle under the chin of a neighbor's new baby. But before the image of Pleasantville gets too deeply etched in our brains, we remind ourselves of a recent robbery, or of being awoken by gunshots at 2 a.m., or of the sight of four cops running across our front yard, following the scent of a K-9 dog. And yet, somehow, on the other side of the map from where we grew up -- from where we have dear family -- we feel rooted.
Call me crazy, but I think it's the neighbors.
Ellen Cady
Ellen is a regular contributor to the GoodLetter and Good Gravy. A freelance writer, she dreams of sparkling streams, snowy Saturdays, and the peak foliage in her native Maine. She and her husband Sam live in Seattle. Click here for her favorite goodthings
(Thoughts on Ellen's GoodLetter? Inspired by what you've read? E-mail us -- don't forget to tell us your name, where you're from, and if we can use your words in a future GoodLetter or on our Web site.)
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TALK ABOUT IT
How has your neighborhood -- and your neighbors -- surprised you in positive ways? What have you done to strengthen your neighborhood? Share your stories and ideas.
LEARN MORE ABOUT IT
:: Building Better Communities Network
:: Neighborhood.com
DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
Attend your local neighborhood gathering, or better yet, plan a neighborhood event of your own. Or if that's too daunting, introduce yourself this week to at least one neighbor you've been curious about. And when you do, write to us at editor@goodthings.com and let us know what goodthings happen!
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Readers Respond
Thanks to so many of you for always sharing the "goodthings" going on in your lives. So many of you were moved by Amy Gautschi's GoodLetter about recording family histories. Here are a few of your wonderful letters:
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Dear GoodThings,
I read Amy Gautschi's story about getting to know the ones we love and about her decision to begin obtaining an oral history of her family. Today I am going to begin to learn more about the people in my family by asking them questions. That includes my children -- my three daughters. Amy's point about how we end up talking about the weather with family, taking for granted that they will always be there, struck me. It moved me because she is right. Thank you, Amy.
David Ekman
Burlington, Iowa
Dear GoodThings,
After reading Amy Gautschi's account of celebrating her grandmother's life, I thought about the things I celebrate in my life. My 85-year-old mother now lives with my husband and me in Texas. I have had to quit my job to stay with her as she has become totally disabled because of severe osteoporosis and dementia. She uses a wheel chair and has to be fed and prodded to drink liquids. It is very lonely caring for her as she sleeps most of the time and she goes months without speaking because of small strokes. Suddenly, she comes out of her dementia for a brief period, like today, and her face lights up. A great day for me is when she smiles and tells me, "Thank you, Susan." I buy her flowers often, because I want her to see them while she is still here with us.
My mother raised three of her own children and three of my father's from his late first wife. She helped my father with his business and never complained. She ran a food pantry at her church every Saturday morning for many years, all alone. She is her grandchildren's favorite person to be with. Even though it was very hard to do, in August we took her by plane and car to my daughter's wedding in California. This is a picture of her smiling with her granddaughter, Stephanie, at that important event. I am celebrating the fact that I am so privileged to be able to spend these last times of her life with such a wonderful spirit, my mother.
Susan Emge Milliner
Cedar Park, Texas
Dear GoodThings,
A few years before my mom died, I interviewed her on tape. She was a little cranky while I was doing it,but I persisted as I asked her questions about the games she played as a child, her loves, places she had been, etc. I also asked questions about her memories of me as a child. Because she was so cranky during the taping, I thought that it might be uncomfortable to listen to. Several months after she died, I went on a trip. I took along the tape I'd made of mom and listened as I drove. I was a little nervous about doing it as I figured I'd end up crying, but instead it was very uplifting. Her crankiness detected before now were impossible to discern. Instead it was wonderful to hear her words and listen to her feelings exposed in her answers to my questions. I was so excited and touched by it that I bought blank tapes at my destination and made copies of the tape and sent them to her good friends so they, too, would be able to listen to her voice and share in her memories. I am so glad that I persisted during that taping session. It produced something I will treasure forever.
Katelon Jeffereys
Seattle, Washington
Dear GoodThings,
I very much enjoyed Amy's letter about learning family history. My mom and I have done genealogical research into her immigrant mother's journey in 1909 to Denver, Colorado, from Lona in northern Italy to marry my grandfather. He worked as a miner in Central City, Colorado, then as a farmer in Gilpin County, Colorado; Grandma raised their five children and ran the home.
Recently, Mom and I spent a lovely, fulfilling week with her "Jolly 17er" penpals from various places across the US. We were in Williamsburg, Virginia, and had a priceless time visiting and learning about each other. Best yet, Mom and I did this together!
Thanks for the GoodLetters!
Mary
:: Did you miss Amy Gautschi's GoodLetter [#108, Putting A Life Into Words] Read it now.
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We love to hear from you about anything: ideas or situations that are inspiring you or challenging you to think, as well as organizations, programs, and people that contribute to your community and the world everyday. Please drop us a line.
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The Upshot: Favorite GoodThings 2002
Don't forget! It's not too late to send in your nominations to help us recognize the people and groups and ideas that have made a difference in the world this year.
If you don't remember last year's Favorite GoodThings 2001 campaign, visit our site and check out the 25 positive and constructive ideas you helped us pay tribute.
Then, think about the ideas and actions that you think have helped to create a better world this past year, and send us your nominations for Favorite GoodThings 2002 by using our "Share" page.
Thanks so much for continuing to be an active part of GoodThings' unique global community.
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Good Gravy
Each week, we're featuring a new list of Good Gravy recommendations from GoodLetter readers or from someone here at GoodThings. So send us your own personal list of favorites of all things entertainment related -- the books or articles you're reading, the movies you've rented or seen in the theaters, the music that you can stop listening to -- and it might end up here in our revamped Good Gravy section.
Thanks to all of you who have shared your own Good Gravy recently. Keep it coming! What's YOUR favorite Good Gravy these days? Check out what readers like you are enjoying:
1. A children's book lover from Hooksett, New Hampshire, has found a "goodthing" for kids:
(children's book) Pampered Pal, by Tabatha Jean D'Agata and Judy Lineberger (2001)
"This beautiful book was inspired by a TV interview with Rachel Doyle, founder of the non-profit community service program, Glamour Gals. The organization encourages teens to volunteer with elderly women by offering facials and makeovers, enriching the lives of each generation. The book follows six-year-old Maggie on an uplifting visit to a nursing home."
2. Christen Greene of Northampton, Massachusetts, supports local music and local artists:
(music) Alix Olson; Sarah Bolen
"Alix Olson is a poet/activist. She's amazing and is opening up people's eyes everyday to injustice. Singer-songwriter Sarah Bolen is a newcomer to the New England scene by way of North Carolina. She is making her second CD and is a great storyteller. One to watch out for."
3. A reader from St. Louis, Missouri, suggests her favorite current book:
(book) The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd (2002)
"An excellent Southern story about a motherless white girl sheltered by an African American beekeeper and her sisters."
4. Deming Herbert of Montpellier, France, found a new American film worth seeing:
(new documentary film) Bowling for Columbine (2002)
"Yesterday I went to see this film -- Michael Moore's latest documentary -- which won an honor at the Cannes Film Festival. It should be required viewing for every American. Moore is himself a member of the NRA, so it's not a completely one-sided anti-gun movie, but rather an attempt to answer the questions, 'Why do so many Americans kill each other with guns? What is it about our culture?' Best film of the year."
5. Jenny Fox of Seattle, Washington, made a great rediscovery while lingering among the used books:
(book) Howard's End, by E.M. Forster (1910)
"I just picked up this classic in a used bookstore, and it's fantastic! So much in there -- about gender roles, "literature" vs. "journalism," and all sorts of relevant ideas and thoughts."
6. A reader from Oak Park, Illinois, recommends
(new book) The Good Girl's Guide to Negotiating, by Leslie Whitaker and Elizabeth Austin (2002)
We at GoodThings have checked this great new book out, as well. It's a terrific, very readable book for both women and men who are eager to improve their negotiating skills without losing their ability to empathize. It's a wonderfully human guide to better business.
7. A reader from the Philippines shared this special "goodthing":
(music) Martin Nievera's A Song for Peace, by Bob Greene (2002)
"Two of our renowned Filipino artists, Martin Nievera and Lea Salonga, shared the stage at the former's concert entitled A Song for Peace, held last December. Martin's My Heart's Song was, in his words, 'the Philippines' gift to America' after September 11. It was inspired by a wheelchair-bound boy Martin saw on The Oprah Winfrey Show and how his spirit shined in spite of his handicap. Very beautiful song, indeed. Lea Salonga's rendition of True Colors (a Phil Collins original) is one that I fell madly in love with. Backed by a 50-piece orchestra, this heart-wrenching, poignant version grips you from the very beginning. I always remember the images of September 11 whenever I hear this particular song because of its innocence and heart. The human spirit lives in these two songs, different but alike in more ways than one."
Talk to us: What's your Good Gravy? What do you think of our new Good Gravy format? Let's start sharing good entertainment finds with each other! Send us your list of what you're reading, watching, or listening to and let us know why you think it's good. Your Good Gravy could be featured here next week.
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