In light of September 11 and subsequent events, it seems our reunions are more important than ever.

A few months ago, we met up for a three-day weekend in the American Southwest. We grew up together in Maine and have said for years that we should have an annual event, yet it's often postponed or canceled due to schedule conflicts. Not this year.

Four of us -- two from San Francisco, one from Boston and one from Seattle -- boarded planes bound for Santa Fe, New Mexico, where one of the gang lives and works for an art gallery. Two years ago, she moved there -- escaped, rather -- from the film industry in New York City, where she led a life that felt too fast, too unfulfilling. The artist in her longed for vibrant landscapes and starry moonlit skies. She wanted to drive a truck on dusty roads, a trusty dog at her side riding shotgun. She got all that and found love, too. She is happy.

The rest of us -- still big city folks -- converged on her like a cyclone straight out of the pages of a girlfriend novel. Chattering and memory swapping, we were 15 again in a space of five minutes. Naturally, we relived some of the stories of our youth -- angst and all -- but we also brought much more to the gathering this time. We were new people. We were wives and girlfriends to someone back home. We were businesswomen, artists and writers. We were no longer girls, no longer post-college grads. We were women.

I shared an air mattress that night with my friend from Boston, the one who calls me, while rubbernecking in traffic, to catch up on her cell phone, to tell me of her life and love. On the next mattress was a gal from San Francisco, newly single and enjoying her independence. Our host, the artist, shares her bedroom this weekend with a married dot-commer from San Francisco. Yes, we are different, but we are also the same. The years of our youth say so.

The apartment was open and we talked late into the night, our voices carrying back and forth between the rooms as we laughed, cackling about things that would only be humorous to friends with this kind of history. The next morning, I awoke to a brilliant blue sky, beautifully contrasted by the earthy brown of the surrounding adobe. It was Saturday and the art enthusiasts were out, so, with coffee in hand, I dropped off our host at work. I returned to find the others still deep in slumber, deep lines on their faces evidence of a restful sleep.

We checked out town and headed to the airport to pick up the last straggler, who came in from San Francisco for one night. "I wouldn't have missed this for anything," she said, despite her 4 a.m. trip to the airport. That night we celebrated over margaritas and Southwestern fare, each of us gazing at the faces around the table as we wondered, who would have thought the bonds of childhood could last this long? Some of us have been friends since the age of five, some since age twelve and, yet, here we are approaching the age of thirty. Quite rapidly, I might add.

The weekend consisted of long talks by the pool, wonderful meals and a hike that brought the entire group to tears. Not tears of sadness or anger, but an outpouring of emotion over the sheer wonderment that we can be this close -- twelve years after graduation -- with such physical distance between us. It's heartbreaking that we can't spend our days together in the same neighborhood, walking the same streets, reading the same newspaper at the same coffee shop. But that's life. Grown-up life.

Most amazing is the group's adaptability to one another. The months we spend apart are non-existent. No need to get reacquainted, we jump back in the saddle and it's as comfortable as ever. Old friends -- friends with an ever-present sense of support and sisterhood, friends that know each other innately -- are hard to come by and yet we remain as tight today as we were, years ago, giggling in the back row of Mr. McKechnie's 9th grade math class.

Life today, however, is no math class. Our world, spinning slightly off its axis, is full of doubt, full of fear. Yet it reminds me -- now, more than ever -- how vital it is that we stay in close touch. We may have questions about our future, but we have true faith in our past, and though this reunion of friends has come to a close, we are already drawing up plans for the next one.

Here's hoping you're planning yours.

:: Ellen Cady

Ellen is a regular contributor to the GoodLetter and Good Gravy. A Seattle freelance writer, she lives with a doctor (her husband) and daydreams about growing up in Maine. [ Check out a few of her favorite goodthings ]

(Thoughts on Ellen's letter? E-mail us -- don't forget to tell us your name, where you're from, and if we can use your words in a future GoodLetter or on our Web site.)


TALK ABOUT IT
How do you stay connected to friends? Have recent events made it all the more important to stay in touch? How are you creative about maintaining friendships that are important to you? Share your stories.

LEARN MORE ABOUT IT
Can't seem to figure out how to stay in touch? Check out these articles for inspiration and great ideas:
:: from Mocha Sofa
:: from Time magazine

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
:: When the thought of a friend spontaneously pops into your mind, reach out -- via phone or e-mail -- and make contact. There's a good chance they're thinking about you too.
:: Or try something old-fashioned: write a letter. In this high-speed age of technology, it is wonderful to receive a simple, hand-written card or note.
:: Spontaneously treat a friend to something, maybe a dinner or movie. Make them a tape. Write them a poem. Share a dream. Plan a spontaneous visit. Send them flowers. Sing to them on the phone.

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