"Do not be too timid and squeamish. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make, the better."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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"Do not be too timid and squeamish. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make, the better." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Get Involved
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February 4, 2012 | |||||||
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 No Coincidences: A Story of Safe Havens for Children by Robyn Surdel Posted April 18, 2002 The impassioned work of a dedicated advocate for children saves a life and lends energy to a movement. NEW Reader Responses are a goodthing! Join the conversation! Fellow GoodLetter readers, I was struck by the fact that there really are no such things as coincidences in early February of this year. I received a call from my friend Jean Morrissey in Massachusetts. Jean and I had met several months earlier via the Internet. I had been corresponding with a colleague of hers in Florida who worked for the Bonnie Babes Foundation (a miscarriage and stillbirth support organization). Jean had been scheduled to be on my public-access television show, Robyn's Nest, but had taken a fall that day and was unable to appear. Little did I know at that time, how important our relationship was to be. In November 2001, Jean contacted me about a newborn baby that had been found by local schoolchildren in a cemetery near Boston. The perfect little baby girl, who became known as "Baby Rebecca Mary," was found dead, apparently from exposure to the frigid temperatures that blanketed the area around Halloween. I was heartbroken. I had recently heard other upsetting stories of abandonment, one about a baby found alive in a trash bin in Connecticut, the other of a baby left to drown in a toilet in a New York courthouse. I was remembering a story from several years ago, when I lived in Florida, of a young couple who stood trial for killing their newborn, and I found myself crying. How could anyone do this? I kept trying to make excuses in my head for the kind of hopelessness that led these parents to do these things to their babies. My mind was racing with possible explanations: "They must be very sick...they must be on drugs...maybe the mother was beaten by a boyfriend." I was confused and bewildered, but what was clear to me at that moment was that I had to do something. In 1998, the most recent year for which such statistics exist, there were 105 documented cases of infant abandonment in the US. Clearly, fear of prosecution among parents not prepared to take care of their newborns was resulting in unspeakable tragedies. I learned about the concept of "Safe Haven" laws, which protect parents of unwanted babies in 35 states from prosecution for dropping off newborns at hospitals and other designated "safe havens." These laws give abandoned children a chance and offer unfit parents a humane choice. What I also found was that in my home state of Connecticut, a so-called "Safe Haven" law had been signed into law in 2000, but no one seemed to know about it. A baby had just been left in a restaurant garbage can several months before. I decided to tape a show on the issue and contacted Jean again. She told me that Massachusetts was among the 15 states that don't have "Safe Haven" laws. Apparently, a proposed Massachusetts bill had been languishing in legislative committees for something like three years. We taped a 30-minute show featuring Tim Jaccard, founder of the New York-based AMT Children of Hope Foundation, an organization that last year alone counseled 3,411 people considering infant abandonment via its toll-free hotline. Tim was joined on the show by Connecticut State Representative Ann Dandrow (sponsor of the Connecticut "Safe Haven" law), Massachusetts State Representative Tom O'Brien, and Jean and Mike Morrissey. Later on the evening of the taping, when we learned another baby had been abandoned in a public place in Massachusetts, we knew the show needed to air soon. The show started airing in Connecticut the first week of February 2002 around the time my family and I left for vacation in Florida. We were changing airplanes in Cincinnati when I received two voice mail messages, one from Tim Jaccard and one from the Morrisseys. Among the nearly two dozen phone calls to the Children of Hope hotline from Connecticut residents that week, one was from a young man who called the hotline wanting information about relinquishing a 30-day premature infant who had been born at home that very day. The caller stated that he had just seen the Robyn's Nest show on safe havens! The crisis worker informed him that since he was calling from Connecticut, not only could he drop the baby off at any hospital emergency room without fear of prosecution, but also he and his girlfriend could have up to 30 days to change their minds. What the crisis worker didn't know was that the baby would soon be left in Springfield, Massachusetts, which happened to have the closest hospital to where the parents lived. Safe-haven advocates commended their action, because being left at this "safe haven" probably saved this baby's life. But since it was Massachusetts, unfortunately a non-safe haven state, local law enforcement intended to press charges (although to date, they have not been able to locate the parents). Of course, the circumstances of this child's first few days were heartbreaking, but the child is alive today, which is better than what can be said for the unwanted children of parents who don't know about the concept of safe havens. I must admit to having been ecstatic at what's happened since. The case of this particular child put into motion a sequence of events leading to pressure on the Massachusetts legislature to move forward on its proposed "Safe Haven" bill (House Bill 4453). While the bill is still making its way through committee, it has moved two giant steps forward in the process. No doubt, the decision to abandon a baby is a desperate one, and I would never argue that we should encourage use of safe havens as an option unless it's the very last option. But "Safe Haven" laws work, and where child welfare is concerned, that means everything to me. Through my connection to my friend Jean Morrissey, I'm thrilled to have played a small part in moving something forward that I truly believe makes a difference. :: Robyn B. Surdel Tolland, Connecticut Robyn is a mother of two who took her quest for parenting information from the Web to television and print media. She hosts and produces Robyn's Nest, the Parenting Network television series in Connecticut, Massachusetts, and New York, writes a newspaper column on parenting, and designs and maintains RobynsNest.com, an interactive parenting Web site. Her favorite goodthings? "A sunny beach. The smell of a newborn baby. The sounds of my young sons' giggles. A good book in front of an open fire." (Thoughts on Robyn's GoodLetter? Inspired by what you've read? E-mail us -- don't forget to tell us your name, where you're from, and if we can use your words in a future GoodLetter or on our Web site.) |
TALK ABOUT IT Have you seen how "safe havens" for abandoned infants offer hopeful choices for desperate families? Or have you been amazed at how your connection to one person put events in motion that made a difference for other people? Share your stories and ideas. LEARN ABOUT IT :: Learn about Robyn's Nest :: Learn more about the proposed Massachusetts "Safe Haven" law :: AMT Children of Hope Foundation :: Australia-based Bonnie Babes Foundation Children need all kinds of safe havens: :: Abused children [more] :: Children who witness violence :: After school :: Home safety for infants DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT :: Find out whether there are "Safe Haven" laws near you that can protect abandoned infants :: Donate to support the work of the "Safe Haven" hotline at AMT Children of Hope Readers Respond
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